


Backstabbers

by awesomesockes, whumphoarder



Series: Christ, What Now? [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Banter, Clint Barton is a Little Shit, Drabble, First Aid, Gen, Humor, Hurt Tony Stark, Minor Injuries, Stitches, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-18 23:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19345117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomesockes/pseuds/awesomesockes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whumphoarder/pseuds/whumphoarder
Summary: Following an incident at the compound, Good Bro™ Clint Barton gives Tony a few stitches.





	Backstabbers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxx_cat_xxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxx_cat_xxx/gifts).



> Happy Birthday [Cat!!](https://xxx-cat-xxx.tumblr.com/)  
> (Thanks to [sallyidss](https://sallyidss.tumblr.com/) for beta reading!)

“Aren’t you finished yet?” Tony grumbles, wincing as the needle pierces his skin.

“Almost,” Clint replies. He ties off his current suture with a practiced knot. “One more to go.”

“This is taking forever,” Tony complains. “I should’ve just gone to fucking Medical...”

Pausing briefly, Clint raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? You wanted to tell them what happened with Nat?”

Tony doesn’t respond—only gives a slight hiss of pain as the needle dips in again. The two are currently in Tony’s private bathroom, the mechanic sitting on the closed toilet lid while Barton stitches the three-inch gash over the other man’s shoulder blade.

Clint huffs out a laugh. “Thought so.”

Tony glances down at his watch. “You’ve been at it nearly half an hour already. What, are you fucking quilting back there?”

Clint tugs the next thread a little harder than strictly necessary, causing Tony to bite his lip to suppress a whimper. “This is an art, Stark,” the archer declares, “not a science.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, the numbing time for lidocaine _is_ , in fact, a science and it’s making me far less appreciative of your so-called”—he puts air quotes around the term—“art.”

“Hey, at least you _got_ lidocaine,” Clint points out. “When I sewed my own toe back on during a three-week undercover op in Panama, I would have been thrilled to—”

Tony cuts him off, “If I have to hear that goddamn severed toe story one more time, so help me God, you’ll be the next one getting stitches.”

Clint scoffs, “And I guarantee you, I won’t be nearly as much of a little bitch about it.” He ties off the final thread. “Done.”

“Finally,” Tony grunts as Clint pours antiseptic over the wound.

Once finished, Clint pulls out a handheld mirror from the sink drawer and angles it so that Tony can see his handiwork. “Well?” he asks with a grin. “What do you think?”

Tony squints at the reflection in the mirror. “What did you—” He cuts himself off when he reads the ‘HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA’ stitched into his back. “Barton!”

Clint spins on his heel. “You’re welcome!” he yelps as he races out of the room.

Tony heaves out an exasperated sigh as he gets to his feet. “Stabbed in the back by two teammates before breakfast…” he grumbles. “I fucking hate this compound.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come and hang out on tumblr if you want: [whumphoarder](https://whumphoarder.tumblr.com/) & [awesomesockes](http://awesomesockes.tumblr.com/)


End file.
